The Beginning In The End

You see two people and you think they belong together, but nothing happens. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, and that's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. That's the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens that allow us to fly.

A picture taken earlier of all of us at work today. Just thought I'd picture of the ladies I spend the majority of the day with.

Welcome everyone

I created this blog in order to have a more public place to place my thoughts. Even though I already have one, that one is more genre related and somewhat exclusionary so to speak.

Right now I'm drifting along, trying to find my place in this world. I work in data entry, but I don't want to do that for the rest of my life. But I don't know what I want to do. I don't know where my heart lies and that frustrates me. I don't want to wake up everyday dreading going into work. While I'm thankful I have a job, I know I'm meant for something more, but I don't know what exactly.

I also want to move away from here. I don't like it here much. I feel like a stranger in my own family. Not with my mother, but with the other family members I have here. It hurts in it's way. I need a change of scenery. I want to go to Tennessee. Mom does too, but the reality is pretty harsh to be honest. My friend and co-worker most likely is going to be able to move there next year and while I'm genuinely happy for her, I'm also slightly envious. I want to go to. Her company is basically the one bright spot of my coming to work. There will definitely be a major void there when she's gone.

I'm trying not to dwell on it overmuch.

Thank you for reading.